Pre-Wedding Talks

This is supposed to be one of the most important and memorable days to cherish ever after. After you know the girl you are going to be wedded with, you start building a relationship with her. Right from the first talk it gets interesting day by day. This is time when you both learn each other and understand what kind of a person your partner is going to be. This is exactly the time when you both first start to discuss about sex. I understand it cannot be the very first day or the first week. But as time goes on and both of you get out of apprehensions and start being open, it would be ideal to kick-start it. Why should you discuss it at this early stage itself? Sex means different to everyone. For some its mere pleasure, for some it’s yucky and for some it’s not their business at all. Open talks about sex makes sure that you both fall on the same line or you both have the same understanding of what sex is. Well in most cases it wouldn’t and these talks help reach a consensus. For a typical Tamil girl, the topic of sex would make her feel very uncomfortable. But we got to break the ice. If you are wondering how to, start by asking her view on a man-woman relationships. At this she should understand what you are hinting at. Believe me as you discuss somewhere you would hit the topic of sex.

So what is Sex?

Sex, biologically is a process for human beings to multiply and bring forth offsprings of the same kind. According to relationships, sex is an act of intimacy where two become one and according to the Bible, is way of respecting each other’s bodies in God’s love. This is the ultimate conclusion – Sex is a way of respecting each other’s bodies. While you start discussing about sex with you fiancé make sure she understands that you would respect her body and feelings. This instills a sense of confidence in you and more openness in terms of sexual life.

What should you talk about?

You may want to talk about her menstrual cycle whether it is periodical, meaning whether she is having her periods on a regular basis. Also make sure that she does not have pain before, after or during the menstrual cycle. A healthy woman wouldn’t have issues and any issue shouldn’t be ignored. Talk about your general view about sex. Always quote the Bible or any other great references. Make her feel comfortable about sex…I leave the strategy to you. But please discuss these things prior to marriage.

In my case I was very very apprehensive about taking this topic. Kudos to my wife who broke the ice one day. That marked the beginning of our conversation about sex.