The Process of Marriage in a Typical (South) Indian tradition! I'm no exception.

I thought I would in a nutshell describe how I got married so that most of the readers could well relate with me. I was born in a Tamil Christian orthodox family. Sunday school, bible reading, prayer and church was a part of life. I thank God for His amazing grace that lead me this far. Like every other tamil school boy, I had one ambition during my 12th: To score above 1100 and get into an engineering college. Tuitions, extended school hours gave little time to freak. By the grace of God I scored above 1100 and got into an engineering college. All through the course, again like most of the tamils, I wanted to get placed in a software company and fly to the US. Again grace of God, it all happened. At a very early age I rose to levels in my career and by 25 I was all set for marriage. My parents started hunting for a girl. My appa often in our usual dad-to-son conversations tried to know if I had a girl in my mind. I ruled out that possibility and always believed that my parents could make a better choice than I could ever. I simply thought any ways I had to live with a girl learning her likes and dislikes and making myself used to it. So what big deal let me do that with the one my parents choose for me! Well, they finally found her…she was just out of college. I was 26 and she was 21…what a pair! We got engaged and after 5 months held hands at the altar before God. Before the wedding like any other Indian fiancé I spoke to her on the phone for long hours. It was during these talks (mostly over phone and occasional outings) we got to know each other more. We cherished each other’s company and couldn’t wait for the big day. Surprisingly, we were wise enough to also discuss about our sex life which gave us the opportunity to clear most of the myths and prepare ourselves for that great occasion of our lives.

Why did I write this blog about Holy Sex?

When talks about my wedding started in the family, I was both excited and puzzled. Excited about the fact that I’m going to get married and puzzled on the fact how am going to win as a great spouse. Of the many questions that I asked myself, one area where I had little or no experience was in the area of sex. Like any other orthodox tamil family the topic of sex or in that case even a romantic scene on the TV wasn’t received well. Sex was always that secret of secrets which was hidden like a treasure. So naturally with no internet or any other mediums of sex education not accessible during my times I grew up with scanty knowledge of sex. Once in a while we would bring this topic among friends and you know boys had their own definitions. I would often laugh thinking of those innocent conversations that we had during our early teens. Brought up in such an environment how do you think I would suddenly get the enlightenment over this topic once I’m married.

Thankfully advancements in technology have made this world smaller through internet and I took advantage of it. I “googled” with keywords like “sex advice”, “sex after marriage”, “sexual happiness”. Depending on your filter settings you would end up with so many results all of which don’t relate to us Indians. The cultural differences project sex in different ways and so sex as defined by an American sexologist wouldn’t be very apparent to our Indian lifestyle. For e.g. I bumped into a site (clean one ofcourse) which counseled youth. It constantly emphasized the need to be protective against sexual hazards during sex after dates for school children (13-17 years). It was indeed a great site and would serve the purpose but definitely not for someone like me who wanted to know the whereabouts of sex after marriage. Unsuccessful after many attempts I went through a few English sites and gained some knowledge. One of those sites, I faintly remember where, said this: “Do not be too anxious but be cool…you can learn and perform well as time goes on” which actually spurred the inspiration out of me. I did get married later and having a great time, sexually!

It was then I thought I should write a blog for the Indian youth to let know the facts of sex and marriage to clear our minds of the myths and take on facts to have a pleasurable sex life.